Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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