I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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