im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
