my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Alive.
So much puke
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
