But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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