I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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