Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
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her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
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Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.