areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
