You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize