We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
