I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
