Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
