Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
