I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
only if we run a train.
done.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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