It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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