When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
