Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
