I smell stomach acid.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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