Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My cat gives me a boner
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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