Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
