sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
