One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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