just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That accounts for only three of the penises
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
