As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I got inside last night via doggy door
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
