I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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