And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
