I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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