Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
