At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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