ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
