U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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