At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize