If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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