I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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