you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon