im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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