her vagina looked like bernie madoff
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
