just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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