Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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