What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
