White coat. Heels.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
