Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it's like iHOP with fire
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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