I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
