Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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