Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
