Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
