Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  literally had 100 drinks last night.

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  (323): literally had 100 drinks last night. http://tfl.nu/jkb6
  Replies (12) Good night (1311) Bad night (462)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that

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  (813): Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that <code></code> http://tfl.nu/dm03
  Replies (8) Good night (1841) Bad night (470)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.

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  (306): I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher. http://tfl.nu/r85b
  Replies (8) Good night (3076) Bad night (612)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.

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  (503): I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight. http://tfl.nu/6osy
  Replies (37) Good night (5646) Bad night (579)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.

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  (720): I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit. http://tfl.nu/09qd
  Replies (19) Good night (558) Bad night (3709)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.

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  (307): Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding. http://tfl.nu/82eq
  Replies (10) Good night (4342) Bad night (615)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.

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  (913): Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla. http://tfl.nu/bslp
  Replies (12) Good night (1527) Bad night (4350)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.

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  (734): I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense. http://tfl.nu/c4vr
  Replies (10) Good night (1096) Bad night (2912)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Hippo gnu deer

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  (440): Hippo gnu deer http://tfl.nu/wuid
  Replies (17) Good night (5516) Bad night (968)
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  (619): View more from California

  I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.

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  (619): I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight. http://tfl.nu/r1ts
  Replies (4) Good night (2431) Bad night (891)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable

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  (901): Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable http://tfl.nu/jd9a
  Replies (12) Good night (7160) Bad night (1242)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision

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  (712): Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision http://tfl.nu/by7d
  Replies (9) Good night (1540) Bad night (629)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.

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  (541): You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday. http://tfl.nu/xakl
  Replies (2) Good night (1162) Bad night (1109)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up

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  (919): Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up http://tfl.nu/pzrf
  Replies (1) Good night (226) Bad night (505)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid

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  (604): Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid http://tfl.nu/spz2
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (212)

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