it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
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