I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.