Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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