She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
