i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
