Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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