u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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