He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
