I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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