is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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