YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize