Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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