can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The adults are the big ones right?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
