no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My bed smells like the plague
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
