just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
