uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
