I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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