I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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