he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
