booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
