did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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