So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
