3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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